Fake it ’til you make it?

Or maybe not.

First up, I’ve done it, many times. And every woman I ever asked has also done it. I stopped doing it years ago and wouldn’t even consider faking an orgasm these days. But why? Why did I do it and why do so many women (and some men) pretend to have orgasms when they don’t?

I am not even sure that women do it only to please their partners or ensure their sexual self-esteem stays intact. I fear that women also sometimes lie to themselves, pretending to experience the height of sexual pleasure when in fact they aren’t. It may be that they are trying to avoid the thought of not being able to climax during sex with their partner and even more so, trying to avoid the conversation that should follow that realisation.

Personally, I realised after over 10 years of sexual activity that I just wasn’t able to have vaginal orgasms. I’d love to, but I never have and I’m ok if I never do because I do have a sweet spot, it’s just not in my vagina. Penetration feels great and is a huge turn on, but what sends me flying in the end is clitoral stimulation. And I’m not alone. In fact, only 32% of women can orgasm during intercourse without getting their clitoris involved.

I’m sure that most women already know that but maybe we are not doing a good job of telling the men in our lives? Many men have probably heard that women come easier when having their clitoris stroked or massaged, but do many of them now that two thirds of women need it to orgasm at all? Probably not, because you know what? Their girlfriends or wives are faking it, as we do.

So the point is? Right: stop faking it and show your lover what really gets you high. His ego will survive, promise. And if you don’t know what you need to orgasm: please find out; Play with yourself and don’t miss out on the joy your body can give you – and then, share the love!


The girls

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