My beautiful unused handcuffs

How to overcome ‘the awkward bit’ in role play

I have wonderful handcuffs, velour leather, they feel lovely and soft and have nice, sturdy chains and straps in the middle.. I do sound a bit dreamy, don’t I? Well, the only problem is that I haven’t used them yet. Problem number one: When buying them I forgot that our bed has literally no bits to chain anything onto. Problem number two: The ‘right time’ just hasn’t come yet.Whilst there are plenty of solutions for problem number one, I don’t understand number two. I need to accept that right moments don’t just magically appear, they have to be prepared. And that’s not because I love planning, it’s because I know, as probably many men and women out there: the awkward moment when you are starting to ‘try something different’.

Picture the scene

I plan an evening of exciting, sexy fun, thinking: black underwear, black leather handcuffs, tied to..in our case it would have to be something that is not the bed. Chained to the kitchen table, looking pretty hot (if I say so myself) and waiting for the man to come home. The man eventually does come home. He opens the front door, heads straight for the bedroom and flops on the bed with a grunt without even looking to see where I am.  Hell, doesn’t he know I am waiting for him naked in the kitchen?? So I wait to see what his next move is, I hear him taking off shoes..ok. I hear pages of a newspaper being turned..damn it, I have to do something.

‘Honey I’m in the kitchen!’ Nothing except ‘Ok, how was your day?’
‘Well, er, don’t you want to come and say hello?’.
‘Yes, I’m just finishing this article..’.
‘But I’ve tied myself to the kitchen table and it’s cold!’
’You have what?!’
‘Tied myself to the kitchen table, naked’.

This he finds very amusing but I can hear he is getting interested, the only problem is: my own mood is gone, out the window, poof! All I want to do by now is get dressed in pyjamas and have dinner. It’s just all too hard.

And here we have one of the core problems: losing the groove happens very easily and quickly. Especially when it comes to sexual practices that are new to you and feel out of your comfort zone. A delay, a wrong word or just your partner not playing along as you had hoped and the whole experiment can go pear shaped very quickly.
In hindsight these episodes are often more amusing than embarrassing. But maybe the trick is to use a little bit more planning for these ‘sex events’. Yes, planning sounds boring, it’s apparently the opposite of exciting but in this case it could prove to be the key to success.

For me this means that I might just give that special someone a hint in advance to avoid us stumbling over those first few moments. If I send him a message/ email, announcing ‘ Remember the handcuffs I bought? I will be wearing them and not much else tonight, in the kitchen, make sure you’re home on time!’
surely he will make his way straight to the kitchen, knowing what to do when he comes home?

Enjoy playing,
The girls

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